


Gee Dave, how come your mom lets you have TWO Jades?

by Pitchblende_Viridia



Category: Homestuck
Genre: Anal Sex, Creampie, Dog Dick, Double Penetration, F/M, Jade Harley/Dave Strider/Karkat Vantas(implied), Knotting, Multi, NB!Jade, Rough Sex, Somnophilia, Vaginal Sex, robot dick, sleepfucking, trans!Dave
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-01-15
Updated: 2018-01-15
Packaged: 2019-03-05 02:55:57
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,207
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13378638
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Pitchblende_Viridia/pseuds/Pitchblende_Viridia
Summary: Jade has been having issues with her sleepwalking again, and unfortunately for others, they can sleep through just about anything. The solution? Build another Jadebot! That couldn't possibly have any rammifications.





	Gee Dave, how come your mom lets you have TWO Jades?

It was early. Way too early. Inhumanly early. And yet you found yourself being roused from a comfortable sleep by a warm, prodding wetness between your legs. “Mmnn… Jade? Izzat you?”

You didn’t really need to ask, as you could still feel their body pressed against yours, one arm draped around your waist. That at least explained the heat currently brushing along your clit, but the wet rod poking against your ass was a different matter. Your first thought was Karkat, but this was a lot stiffer than his bulge, and he was off on some moirail retreat with Kanaya this week.

It clicked when you felt cold metal press up against your back. Jade’s fuckin’ robot. Did they seriously give that thing a dong? Rhetorical question, said dong was currently attempting to work its way into your ass. At the very least, with your and Jade’s combined heat, the metal was warming up quickly, and Jade had thought ahead enough to make the robo-dong self-lubricate.

“Jade. Jade, wake u-nngfuck!” Jadebot suddenly thrust into you and yep that was definitely Jade’s dick. Fuck. You were  _ well _ acquainted with that shape and size stretching you out, but usually with a little more prep time. It was different enough that you could tell it wasn’t the real deal, but fuck if it didn’t feel good.

Jadebot’s thrust forward relentlessly, and your next groans were muffled as your face was pressed into Jade’s chest. The machine tilted its hips slightly, and with calculated efficiency, shifted you just enough that Jade’s cock caught against your entrance, and their own sleep-lazy thrusts started to work into you. Shiiit that is a tight squeeze. Sure you’ve taken Jade and Karkat before, but Karkles isn’t quite as thick as Jade, so this was more than you were used to.

Jade let out a sleepy groan from above you, and you felt Jadebot’s hands seize your hips roughly. Fuck, yep, that’s gonna bruise. You let out another series of groans as Jadebot finally worked its impressive length to the knot. The next few thrusts just pressed your hips forward, and in this case, ‘forward’ just meant further onto Jade’s equally impressive dick.

It didn’t take long for the combined movements of Jade and their robot to finally press their respective knots against both of your holes. It was all you could do to hold onto Jade and moan into their chest as the twin rods stretched you wonderfully. Holy fuck, this was amazing. Jadebot started to thrust a little faster and Jade joined in, shallowly mirroring the motions.

Every thrust from the sleeping Jade bumped their knot into your clit and left you seeing stars, while Jadebot’s hands held you firmly in place. The robot’s own thrusts were long and rough, pulling out nearly all the way before slamming deep into you. You moaned and flexed around the tools as they stirred your insides, clinging tightly to Jade.

You weren’t surprised when you started to feel your orgasm building. Frankly, you were on the receiving end of a godly double dicking, and it had already reduced you to a whimpering mess. A godtier orgasm or three was really the only way you could see this ending. It seemed that Jadebot agreed with your thoughts, and just as you had adjusted to the pace, it started to pound into your ass harder. You were almost certain that both Jade and their robot were trying to knot you now.

Fuck, there was no way they could both fit. You had enough trouble just knotting Jade alone, and now, with two of their girth already in you, you already felt stretched to the limit. Jade’s arm pulled you closer, and you could hear their sleepy moans start to get louder, even as your own whimpers and moans poured from your mouth freely.

Jadebot started to grind its knot against your ass with each rough thrust, and you could feel it start to stretch you a bit further each time. The not-quite-real dong had been steadily leaking lubrication as it fucked you, and you definitely appreciated it now that it was clearly not giving up in its attempts to knot you. Jade’s own knot was grinding just as hard, even though it had barely started to swell you already could feel her leaking cum into you.

Jade squeezed you even closer, and Jadebot’s grip on you tightened. The robot pulled back and paused for a brief moment before slamming into you  **_hard_ ** . You could swear there was a set of audible pops and your vision went white.

When you came back to your senses, Jade and Jadebot were rutting into you roughly. They had both managed to knot you at the same time, and fuck that was gonna leave you with a limp all week. At the same time, it was one of the most incredible things you had experienced. You were filled and stretched more than you had ever been before and  _ fuck _ the knots were starting to swell.

Jade was letting out groans, still somehow sound asleep, and Jadebot kept the pace fast and steady. Your own stifled moans were growing more and more desperate, and each grinding thrust edged you closer to your peak. It didn’t take much more for you to finally come apart, and you cried out in ecstasy as you finally climaxed.

Neither of your partners relented in their thrusts as you came, and the swelling knots only pushed you further into orgasmic bliss. Finally, the two rutting bodies pressed against you hard, and you could feel them both cum into you simultaneously. You weren’t even surprised that Jadebot was orgasm-capable at this point. You just revelled in the sensation of being filled on both sides, knotted and locked between them.

You started to drift off to sleep, satiated as fuck, but you knew you were going to be all kinds of sore when you woke up. You made a mental note to do this again sometime, though hopefully with a lot more prep. And maybe tomorrow you could ask around for some help with the pain. Rose usually had a handle on that right? Whatever, sleep now, think later.  
  


* * *

turntechGodhead [TG] AT 8:26 opened memo on private board DERSEBABES PARTYTWON TOWN*. 

TG: hey so  
TG: lady strilondes  
TG: awkward question and all but  
TG: y'all got any good methods of dealing with uh  
TG: pain from rigorous exercise  
TG: im talking like olympic level feats of majesty and endurance  
TG: pirouettes so off the handle they will be spoken of for generations to come  
TG: future olympians will die of shame simply hearing of these feats  
timaeusTestified [TT]  responded to memo.  
TT: Rough night?   
TG: like you wouldnt believe  
tentacleTherapist [TT] responded to memo.  
TT: Gee Dave.  
TT: How come your mom lets you have TWO Jades?  
tipsyGnostalgic [TG]  responded to memo.  
TG: omg   
TG: davey im so proud of yuo   
TG: you*   
TG: ...   
TG: rose   
TG: how much did they tell you  
TT: Ah ah, dear brother. A lady never kisses and tells.   
TG: kill me now   
TT: Before this gets any worse, don't worry Dave, I'll bring something around in a bit.   
TG: thank god   


turntechGodhead [TG] closed memo.

**Author's Note:**

> Back on my game! Finally a new piece of fiction from me that isn't a troll call piece! I hope you all like reading it as much as I liked writing it and if you did, please consider [Buying me a coffee!](https://ko-fi.com/A6242F7L)


End file.
